CONTENT WARNING:intrusive thoughts
self loathing
internalized misogyny
mentions of rape/SA and abuse
desire girl …………………….. x
(,,>﹏<,,) so don’t worry, i’ll make you worry like no other girl can (,,>﹏<,,)
- ִֶָ۶ৎ˖ִ ˚ ����� <3
- ִֶָ۶ৎ˖ִ ˚ she/her + 18 y/o + 💖💜💙
- ִֶָ۶ৎ˖ִ ˚ future beauty major and causal ballerina (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
❤︎ Display Persona:
❤︎ Last Seen Listening To:
HAUNTED HOUSE by SNAKE POOL
❤︎ Latest Journal Entries:
Last updated: ��/��/����it was my 18th birthday yesterday (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)!! i had so much fun, but.. i kinda feel weird about it. please don’t judge me cause i know this is a horrible thing to want, but is it weird of me feel like i, like, got cheated out of something?? all my life everyone around me has always talked about sexual assault and rape and how it’s something that basically every woman has experienced.. but it never happened to me and i feel like now that i’m not a minor anymore i missed my chance. being taken advantage of sexually is supposed to be something that all girls can relate to, right?? so am i not girl enough?? did i miss out on an important part of girlhood?? i was online so much when i was younger and yet i never got groomed or anything, hell i’ve never even been catcalled on the street before!. am i not pretty or special enough to be treated like that? really it’s not even just that anymore, it’s about abuse in general. i feel like everyone my age has a crappy home life and then i’m just kind of.. there?? nothing really bad has happened to me and i feel like i’m missing out now, i keep fantasizing about being raped or abused and it makes me feel so icky.. i’m sorry, i know this is such a disgusting thing to want, it’s so insensitive to actual victims, but i can’t stop thinking about it, cause if nothing traumatic has happened to me then i have no reason for the way i am, it’d be more understandable for me to be so mentally unwell and off if i went through something.. i think i keep subconsciously trying to put myself in situations where people will take advantage of me but it keeps not happening, i dont even realize in the moment when i do it, it makes me feel so gross and like i’m an attention seeker.. at this point i think i just deserve it.. i don’t know..!! (╥﹏╥)………………………………………………………………………….… - �����
CONTENT WARNING:bugs (pictures on blog)
past abuse/rape
paranoia
memory blockage/amnesia
Limbo Girl ………………….. x
｡꩜˚⋆ I’m not my body, not my mind or my brain ⋆˚꩜｡
- They/them/she/her | Twenty | Non-binary Lesbian
- Interests include: history, abandoned buildings, entomology
- Recommended not to follow if you are squeamish about bugs. I post photos of bugs often
¿? Display Persona:
¿? Last Seen Listening To:
Stuff Is Way by They Might Be Giants
¿? Latest Journal Entries:
Last updated: ��/��/����I think something happened to me when I was younger. I was abused or raped, I am sure of it. Why else would I have all these trauma responses? It is not normal for me to be so avoidant of touch or to apologize for every minor inconvenience or to fear being around my parents or to have such big gaps within my memory. My family is good to me. They connect with me and do not yell or hit me and they are not neglectful, realistically they have done nothing to me. So what did happen to me? Why am I like this? Was it really my mother, my father? Or my brother? Are they just hiding their past abuse and gaslighting me into believing they did nothing to me? I do not live close to any of my extended family either, so who did it if not a family member? A childhood friend? My ex? Some stranger on the streets or that i met online? I cannot remember and it ruins me. I do not trust anyone. I do not believe that they have not hurt me before. What if they have and I just do not remember? Why are my entire childhood and teenage years blocked out of my memory? If nothing happened to me then there is no excuse for why I am like this, so what is the reason? Am I just faking it? Someone on here shut me down and tell me I am faking it, please and thank you, cause I genuinely do not know how long I will be able to go on like this…………………………………………………………………..…….… - ������